Through decades of advertising, the word “mail order bride” has become a meme. Most memes are harmless and in reality facilitate more colorful communication. Some common examples are “shop ’til you drop”, or “clean as a whistle”, or “talk the talk and walk the walk”, and one more, uh, oh yes, “senior moment.” However the term “mail order bride” carries connotations from a hundred years ago which are no more true and which render usage of the term harmful in today’s world. Discontinued use of the term will result in much happier intercultural marriages via a resetting of expectations.
Nevertheless the term is commonly used including use of its negative connotations; the primary one being the thought of purchasing a woman from a catalog. Further, you will find implications, produced from its original application to Asian women, that define the sort of women provided by a catalog.
Even though term was not invented on the Internet, “mail order brides” has definitely found traction as a useful and profitable term. It’s a fact that about 100 years ago there actually were https://mailorderbrides.reviews, wherein a catalog of women’s biographical info and photos may be viewed, selections made, and brides purchased. These first catalogs were for “picture brides” to get joined in marriage to Japanese and Korean labor men who had been imported to Hawaii and California during the late 1800’s and early 1900’s.
The image bride phenomenon died out as a result of modifications in U.S. immigration laws in 1924. However the legacy of bridal catalogs lived on. And the target market changed from immigrant Japanese and Korean laborers to Caucasian men. The catalogs were still focused mainly on Asian women but they promoted an ages old view of Asian women to be meek, submissive, obedient, and sexually compliant, who, by the way, had great family values.
How this came to be descriptive of Asian women is actually a mystery. Possibly it absolutely was an idea brought back by Marco Polo on his return from his epic journey towards the Orient. Or maybe it’s affiliated with the Chinese practice of foot binding women. It’s also probable that those two factors combined with the Japanese geisha girl mystique led to formation from the description.
However this characterization of Asian women started, it “stuck” and was widely promoted in bride catalogs. The catalogs evolved over decades to include slick color graphics and were mass marketed, on newsstands, by paid subscription, and eventually on the Internet.
Thus there exists a stereotypical description coupled with the organization model of mail order, and the outcome is “Mail Order Bride”, a mechanism whereby a male could browse a catalog and select a woman who appeals to him. He could supposedly “buy” her and also have her perform her wifely duties for him according to his media created expectations.
Through the effectiveness of advertising and mass distribution, a meme has been given that mixes a flawed look at women using a real business structure. Bride catalogs are of help vehicles for individuals for connecting with potential mates. There are many countless them available, both on the web and in printed form. And mail order is a useful, respectable business structure. However, there is no such thing being a “mail order bride.” You can’t get a women with the mail. Period.
One other change in the bride catalogs which has taken place is they are now increasingly multicultural. Yes there are still many Asian women in the catalogs. But there are also many Latinas. And with the breakup from the Soviet Union, there are numerous women of Russian heritage. Since these women are in a catalog, each of them have the same derogatory “mail order bride” label slapped on them.
Actually, it’s becoming almost chic to make use of the word. There are no less than three seriously intentioned Internet articles that referred to the English women brought to Jamestown, Virginia in 1619 as “mail order brides.” Perhaps these casual varieties of usage certainly are a natural process whereby the meme gradually loses its negative stigma. It would be nice if the commercial interests did their part and quit pushing a 100 year-old social poison as being a coveted antidote for loneliness.
The term “mail order bride” has a sad history as a result of factors involved in its origin. Thankfully the conditions which lead to its creation will no longer exist. But what does yet exist is promotion of the term for commercial purposes. This results in its application in totally inappropriate ways with resultant social harm. It generates resentment and a feeling of aykchm for foreign women. Additionally it increases the issue of marital adjustment for intercultural marriages because of false expectations going to the relationship.
Foreign women are aware of this term. But in most cases, due to language challenges and cultural differences, they are fully aware of this only in a literal sense. Their reaction is disgust at their being thought of as a commodity to get bought just like a prostitute. And there is not any faster way to discover the “Russian bear” rather than to relate to a Russian woman just as if she is bought and purchased, or by expecting her to get meek or submissive.
False expectations strongly play a role in discord in almost any relationship. There are other than enough hurdles to work through in creating a successful intercultural marriage. Adding to them expectations of behavior based on a demeaning stereotype is a recipe for disaster.
If a man will accept his foreign bride for who she actually is rather than what the man wants her to get according to what he’s “heard”, then intercultural marriage can truly be joyous. It’s your choice, men. In case you are over a pursuit of a foreign bride, forget about the “mail order bride” stuff. It’s a loaded term and will pave the way for failure. Rather, stretch for an enlightened perspective and do not label the ladies in the catalogs at all. Make reference to them instead as “women looking for husbands.” This makes it easier and more fun to get the one you’re looking for; and once she marries you, your daily life together will likely be far more fulfilling.